BackStage

Where would I, the great complainer be, without something to complain about? I’d have nothing left to offer.

While, overall, I’m very happy with my position, the new U is stuck in the 90s (and sometimes earlier) with technology. Each classroom has a different kind of weird electronic setup that left me running for help in everyone of my three classes (and that’s even after checking it out last week). The one room where tech wasn’t a huge issue was not handicap accessible. I, of course, had a student show up in a wheel chair and had to leave getting ready to go to the Dean’s office to find out how she could get in the classroom. She ended up having to spend class listening to me from the hallway. I was mortified for her. But, now I have to switch rooms and learn yet another weird set up for tech. And what do I mean by weird? Well, in one classroom I had to turn on the elmo in order to project through the computer. Everyone acted as if this should be obvious to me. Umm… it wasn’t.

Also, I can’t electronically submit grades — have to do that by hand. I got the list of students for the class and it came on dot matrix computer paper. Not even kidding.

All said and done though, first day went well. My Intro students love me (I could feel it in their auroas … I even had one student shout “Good Class Today!” when she walked by me outside–usually a clue). My other class? Well, it went as well as it could for the first day where I have to go through all the disclaimers (Yes, I am white and can’t tell you from my own perspective what it’s like… etc. Generally not fun stuff). We’ll have to see on that one.

I’m new faculty. I have a say in departmental meetings. I have health care, life insurance, and retirement. I make well above the poverty line for a family of four (made even better by the fact that I have a family of two). I own a house. I have an office and a secretary who will take care of copying my syllabi, ordering electronics (like a new printer), and so forth.

I feel like a fake. I’m told this is normal, but seriously NONE of this seems real.

On the positive side, I went to a faculty retreat today. I never really knew what these were about as a graduate student. I had some kind of fuzzy idea, but today I sat in one. I even spoke once or twice (or three times… I didn’t count). And people listened, and agreed, and my ideas were added to the future direction of the department. Now that was even more surreal. Also, I got the sense that the new department (while it has its issues) is generally a fun/happy place with people who largely like each other. Now THAT was the best part. I’ve been to faculty meetings before, and this was by far the most supportive, least angry, and most jokey. It was a great experience.

I don’t even know how to write about this experience. Besides to say that I don’t feel like I belong. At all. I mean they are welcoming and all, but I still feel like a graduate student. I guess it just takes time.

And new faculty swag kicks ASA swag’s ass.