BackStage

Blue and I spent the weekend at the new U. We went around the town. Saw what there was to see (and what there wasn’t — this place is small, ya’ll). We looked at some houses. Mostly we found that the houses we found online were in terrible locations (like two houses down from a frat house or an obvious party house — you know, the ones with deck chairs on the roofs or soggy couches on the lawns). But we found a nice neighborhood or two that we would like. We found Blue a coffee shop. I bought a university t-shirt (I am now again the same mascot I was in high school and my first college, and similar colors to the college I got my BA from… weird). It was generally good.

But, stepping onto that campus again, KNOWING that I was a professor there in the fall, was beyond surreal. How do you wrap your mind around it? That’s why I bought the t-shirt. I figure I can start wearing my new identity? Try to ossify myself (ossification-i-on).

I find myself not really believing it. Mostly, I don’t have time to think about it. I need to finish this class I’m teaching and try to finish the dissertation. Those thoughts take most of my time. But, every once in a while, I start thinking about my impending professorhood. What will it mean to be faculty? What will it mean for my life? How will this change the way I think? How will it change the way I live my day-to-day life?

I have already noticed some changes to my thinking. I go to the faculty meetings at my current U to report to the other grad students. I no longer find myself strongly identifying with graduate student concerns. I am still concerned for them, but it’s removed from me and I’m more able to emphasize with the other side. It’s slightly annoying, but at the same time it is fascinating to watch my self change with the adaptation of a new identity. I know I wouldn’t be aware of all of these changes, but every once in a while I catch on and am mesmerized (not by myself, but by watching these processes I study happen in myself — though, of course, I am mesmerizing… ahem).

I guess, stay tuned. I know my posting has been spotty. Hopefully that will be corrected when I’m allowed to think about more things than teaching/dissertation dissertation/teaching dissertation/dissertation/teaching… sleep. I imagine my experiences should be interesting, once I have them anyway.

Blue and I have been obsessing about money since we figured out that we wouldn’t have an income for two months. Or, to be more honest, I’ve been obsessing and he’s been trying (unsuccessfully) to talk me down. But after I posted last, the following has occurred:

• Our current U randomly reimbursed Blue a large sum of money we weren’t expecting
• Our landlord is seemingly now paying for our cable. It’s the only explanation I can think of for the low low bill
• I got the formal letter of offer in the mail. In the package of information, there is a program with local banks to give low interest loans to new faculty. Yes, it’s a loan, but it could help take care of our problem.

It just seems that Blue and I, as much crap as we get into, we always come out smelling like roses. I find myself wondering if I have good karma for some reason.

But, an idea for the scatterheads that read this, could you do an Ask a Scatterbrain about finances? Discuss how there is a lag between your graduate funding and your new position? How to plan for this? Programs that you were able to take advantage of to help during this time? Anything else that should be discussed? In all of the discussions I’ve had with panels, professors, and other graduate students about the job market, this side of the financial has never been addressed. Instead it focuses on negotiations. Yes, important, but not the whole picture.

Of course I’m generally over the moon about having the job. The department was delightful. The faculty were all super nice, and there were a few of them that I really clicked with in terms of sense of humor. The teaching load (3-3) was a bit more than I originally thought I wanted. But, the more I do teach the more I realize that teaching is very important to me. Also, I have discovered throughout this semester that I enjoy teaching inequality classes more than I did social psych. This strikes me as odd, because I am mostly a social psychologist. But these inequality classes … I just feel like I am doing something good. Helping students on their own journey in developing ideas and perspectives on inequalities. I feel like I’m helping them gain the tools they need to deal with the reality of inequalities, and showing them how to use them. And, this job, is primarily a position in inequalities. But, the main theme of the department is that teaching is flexible. They will work with me (as much as possible) to make sure I’m teaching things that I enjoy. They also expressed a desire for me to continue on with my research and to travel and represent the department. In fact, I think part of the reason they picked me is because I am obviously an active researcher. The town is also the kind of place Blue and I wanted to live. We are small town creatures, and this is a small town.

Overall, a good fit.

What’s got me down? Mostly, money. I’m not saying they aren’t offering a competitive salary. They are. It’s actually competitive with a lot of R1 positions. But, here’s the kicker:

I graduate (knock on wood) the day before ASA. I have a summer position teaching at my grad university (if the class makes — knock again). So I get paid half a paycheck in May, a full in June, a full in July. Then, I got nothing until this new position starts. I don’t get paid at my new U until October 1. That’s right. That means no income for August or September. NONE. In between that, we have to pay to move (there is a reimbursement from my position — but reimbursement doesn’t help much right away). I also have to pay for ASA (I’m in between getting money from my current U and new position). Though, I’m in the lucky place of having a friend to stay with in SF and a major who pays for my airfare, so this minimizes outlay (yay!). Then, of course, there are incidentals like rent, food, utilities… Then comes the reality of student loans. And that’s more of a nightmare. We went from dreaming of a house, a yard, and a dog to me wondering how we are going to make it all over again. I thought those days were over. Sadly, they are not.

I find myself frustrated that I can spend more than 10 years educating myself. To get the highest degree possible, and not be able to afford to support a family.

Take home message for all of you not yet on the market — save money. Save lots of money for the months between your grad degree and starting your professional positions. I know it’s hard because we make so little as graduate students, but it is necessary. Fortunately, we have saved money, but I don’t know if it will be enough. Try to save as much as you can.

I know, I know. Lots of people are out there without the faculty job in hand. I read the venting blog now and again. I do know I’m lucky to have gotten a position. But, at the same time, I just wanted to give another side of the reality of getting a job that no one told me. Unless you have a partner or spouse that also makes a good income, you are going to have trouble making it financially. It’s just the way it is. And not knowing this, fully assuming that our money trouble was over, the shock back into reality hurt more than it would have otherwise.

The job market blows.

I accepted the job today! Now, back to that dirty dirty dissertation.

I started the negotiation process today. I must say, this is quite against my nature. I’m still giddy that someone wants to pay me to teach and research. But, I’m being the cool negotiator. After I’m through with this process, I’ll let you all know the advice that I got that helped with this process.

Send me good (monied) thoughts.

I got the offer today!!!!

First, just so you know, the Job Wiki is the most evil website in the world (regardless of what this story says or this one). I’m not even going to link to it, because if you haven’t gone on the job market yet, I highly suggest that you NEVER find your way over there. It’s like a car accident. You can’t help but look. I’m worried that I’ll hear I didn’t get the job through the wiki. That would be …. not good?

Also, I emailed the department chair with a follow up question. He sent me an email back answering the question and signed off with “More later.” Hmm… More later. Oh, those two little words. You can probably imagine the mental gymnastics they have put me through. More later. More later. More later. MORE later.

Yeah, so I want this job. I think I’d really like it there. But, in other good news, I’m in the process of setting up a post-doc interview and have two more leads on other post-docs. But, I really would rather just go into a faculty position. I want to be finally settled into a department and a community.

More later.

Okay, so the stuff I found most helpful/useful:

1. Jenn Lena’s list of advice. And, in my exhaustion, I wrote that it was Tina’s advice for chapstick. That was actually in this list of advice. On this list are also included questions. Take those questions. Memorize a few of them. Sometimes they’ll just sit there and expect you to question them for 30 minutes. Also, her “bag that will save your interview” follow that… exactly. I didn’t use it all. But I needed kleenex, excedrin, chapstick, a second pen, the little notebook, and an energy bar. Since I followed that list, I had everything i needed. I may have had more than I needed, but that’s O.K.

2. Think about and have good answers for (also see Jenn’s list):

• Why do you want to be here? (Especially geography and teaching v. research)
• Where are you in your dissertation? Will you be done?
• Questions about children/husband — how are you going to handle those

3. No one told me to do this, but I used this a lot. After you get your itinerary, make a microsoft word (or excel) spreadsheet with three columns: Time, Who Meet, Summary of their work/research/teaching and questions to ask them. That way you can just glance at this between (on the way) to meetings and remind yourself of who is who and what work they do. I was able to start conversations with, “I know you’ve researched on X, are you still doing that?” Or “I saw the article you did with Y, did you ever go back and do more analysis like you suggested in the article?” This is NOT fail proof. A lot of times the website was not up-to-date, so they were like “Yeah, I did that once, but it’s not really what I’m interested in now.” I also googled, but that doesn’t always reveal all. But, hell, I figure it shows that you are interested and trying to pay attention to them as researchers. Then, I wrote notes on another copy of the itinerary on notes for my follow-up emails. I didn’t have time to write after every meeting, but did do so when I found time. Thanks to Blue who printed out all the faculty webpages and copies of articles for me to review.

4. Talking to current faculty at your U and others about how they would answer questions. For example, it WAS the lovely Tina from Scatterplot who gave me advice on how to speak about one area of research (also film and book suggestions). I also talked to other researchers in that area. I talked to a few about the purpose of general education classes. About how to mentor grad students. How to bring undergrads into your research. Basically, this was an exercise of just listening to the language used. How you answer should be what you believe because that’s the only way that it will seem sincere. But, it helps with professionalization through how to frame your answers (in my opinion).

5. It was also Tina who suggested to let my enthusiasm show through during my job talk. To give them insight into how I teach. I think this worked very well for me. I approached the methods of my presentation (network junk) as if I was teaching how to do it on a very basic level. I got a lot of comments that indicated to me that they appreciated that, and how I seemed approachable.

6. “F it in the A!” as Kristina pointed out earlier (btw, I totally picture the hand motions that Tom Cruise uses in Jerry McGuire). Indeed. Be yourself (although a glossier shinier version in nice clothes). It’s not like I’ve been offered this job. So I can’t say that this worked. However, I can say that being myself, being genuine, laughing and making jokes, made the experience enjoyable for me. Yes, it was friggin exhausting. But I also liked it. And, by being myself rather than who I thought they wanted me to be, I think that means that if I do get the offer: (1) They are hiring ME and not this fake character; and (2) I know that I enjoy them as me (possibly even more important). By the time I got there, I was in almost this Zen-like state where I was totally “F it in the A!” Yes, I wanted to do well, but I was going to do well as me (if that makes sense).

7. Bring copies of syllabi, manuscripts (that you present on), any other materials. I had several people that couldn’t come to the job talk, so I had to talk it through with them during meetings. I then was able to offer them the manscript that the presentation came from. A few that were at the job talk were interested in it, and they took copies too. The chair was really interested in my syllabi. At my final meeting with him, he referred to how I structure courses and how inventive I was. This is not something I was able to discuss with him, so it gave him more insight into how I teach. This is good. I made a lot more copies than I needed, but that was ok. I hated dragging my bag around with me the entire time, but it was useful when a professor saw me in the hallway and said, “Hey, can I get a copy of your paper?” Which did happen.

8. Not just comfortable shoes — but a different pair of comfortable shoes FOR EACH DAY. Basically, I had pretty darn comfortable shoes, but after 12 hours in them, they started rubbing in a few places. The next day being in the same shoes was suddenly painful. I suggest a separate pair that will not rub in the same places the first pair did.

9. Do a practice job talk. Invite all the faculty that you are scared of because of their huge brains. When I got my presentation past some of the scariest faculty I have ever had the privilege of knowing, suddenly this room full of strangers did not feel at all scary. After you get practice grilled on your talk, the real grilling seems so much nicer.

Hmm.. I think that’s all I got. Of course, keep in mind this comes from someone who has NO IDEA if she landed a job. However, I did enjoy my experience and that’s got to count for something.

**UPDATE**

10. Know your body. Know what you can eat or drink without causing pain or upset stomach. For example, I did not drink soda the entire time because soda makes me tired. I also was able to arrange to go places where it was appropriate just to have tea for breakfast (breakfast also can make me sleepy). I ate a light lunch for the same reason. It’s just the way my body is and how it reacts to food. Know that and act on it.

Oh my goodness.

I am amazed that anyone can give advice about the job market and how to do well at an interview. I just got back to the hotel room after nearly 12 hours of back-to-back meetings. It just happened today, and already it’s a complete and total blur. Complete and Total Blur.

I think I remember it going well. But I can’t even promise that. My feet hurt. My lips are dry. I can’t seem to get enough water. I remember watching a show on how to become a Navy Seal. I’m wondering if that feels anything like this.

So, all I can say so far, Tina’s advice to bring chapstick is good. Not that I remembered I had it, or had time to put it on (except once on the toilet). Maybe I’ll remember more after I finish tomorrow and get some sleep.