I’m drowning. I really am. I find myself wondering if I worked all those long years just to get a job that I don’t even like. I constantly tell myself that it will get better, that everyone has a hard first year, that when all of my classes aren’t new prep things will calm down and I’ll be able to return to what I really love — research. (As a note, I do really like my department. At least I’m not dealing with issues there as I go through all of this).
Question the first:
What are your first year experiences? Is it fairly normal not to like the job? I spoke recently to a friend of mine that went through the same PhD program. He is also in his first year and absolutely LOVES it. He has 4 classes (two online), but thinks it’s great fun. This diverges from my own experiences.
Question the second:
What organizational schemes allowed you to do everything you had to for teaching, meetings, committee work AND still research (not to mention sleep and relax)?
Question the third:
How long was it (after starting your first academic appointment) when you felt settled in and could come to a reliable conclusion as to what you thought about it?
I’ll have more teaching specific questions later, but I thought I’d start off with these.
Question for all of you out there that tweet frequently and often.
I don’t tweet. I think I have a dead account somewhere, but I never seriously looked into it. I’m wondering, is it possible to make a tweet group? I’m curious if I can make a twitter account for an entire course, letting anyone in that course update the tweet thread (or whatever that’s called).
I’m thinking for a class like race/ethnicity or stratification, it would be a way to post links to interesting occurrences and to encourage students to do the same thing. I know there might be little use of it by anyone but me, but it gives the possibility of involvement. Of course, you could always grade it — but I don’t think I’d want to. I do get quite a few students who send me links to current goings on. I share those with the class when there is time, but there isn’t always time.
- Is this possible?
- Has anyone done this?
There is almost constant coverage on the public option (a great summary of the public option can be found here — have the clip running in the background while looking at the flow chart beneath).
We know that poverty and health coverage are correlated. We also know that race (above and beyond poverty) and health coverage are correlated. We know that quality of care has a racial component. We know that things like residential segregation cause health disparity by race (i.e. food deserts, amount of green space, environmental racism). African Americans have the highest rates of infant mortality and a low rate of preventative care.
I am not a medical sociologist. I have some passing familiarity with the literature — enough to know that health care is a raced system where Whites consistently receive better, more quality care. Are more likely to be given preventative treatment and less severe treatment (i.e. white women are less likely to get mastectomies and white males are less likely to have their testicles removed when other treatment is appropriate than their black counterparts). Some stats…
Has ANYONE discussed the implications of the public option to creating change in a system that (re)creates quite negative (even deadly) racial disparities? With the constant discussion, I have been surprised not to hear this anywhere from anyone. Have I missed it? Is this just a further case of America being afraid to discuss race?
I was watching Glen Beck this afternoon (I know, but I was curious). And he was talking to a guest that charged that Obama is the “anointed” carrying out plans to change the system (the appropriate response is a supposed to be something like this). I find myself hoping that this is true (not necessarily as the anointed one, but someone who is trying to change this system). It’s broke. Not just perpetuating racial inequality in some of the most horrific ways, but in the basic values we are stressing. I remember watching some clip (can’t find it) of a town hall where a woman asks her representative about her situation (husband can’t work, needs care 24/7, and she can’t get health care). The response was “we need to be neighbors to each other and help each other out.. but this health care system is not that approach” (not a direct quote, but you get the idea). I think my jaw about hit the floor. Isn’t the government, in a real way, made of our neighbors (We the people and all of that… WE the people)? Isn’t that the POINT of the public option? That we help each other because it’s the right thing to do… because we are neighbors. And if that means my taxes are higher (or if this is balanced because of not having the increase in our premiums due to emergency care for these others who can’t get preventative care) then fine by me.
But, then again, I am a zombie killer socialist from outer space.
I’d love to see an analysis that frankly discusses the public option and racial disparities in health care and insurance.
Filed under: Questions
We decided to take a break from packing last night. A break that would also be a break from writing and syllabus creation for me. What I wanted to do was see a movie. I don’t get to watch tons of movies lately. I do take time to watch documentaries, but I watch them usually while doing something else (like packing). So in that vein I’ve recently seen New Muslim Cool (which was good, but not as powerful as I had hoped — click the link to watch it online); 49 Up (which Jessie Daniels page — if not Jessie herself, not sure (see for great film suggestions) — suggests for sociological imagination discussion; but my imagination is failing me as to how to do that); and the recently reviewed Jihad for Love (which I loved). I decided last night that I wanted to see a popular film and wanted to watch one with Blue. Blue doesn’t go much for videos at all, which is probably why I watch few. When I want to relax, generally I want to relax with him, resulting in picking something else to do besides torturing him with a movie he doesn’t want to watch (like Coraline… I rented it last night but haven’t watched it yet. Loved the book).
Now to The Watchmen. Overall, I enjoyed it. But there was a particular scene that really made me mad. I mean incredibly pissed off. It wasn’t the only scene that upset me (so did the murder of the superhero lesbian with “Lesbian Whores” scripted above the bed in blood? and the later reference to said murder that seemed to condone the hate crime — something along the lines of they got killed for their depraved lifestyle). The scene that just really got me was the attempted rape of the Silk Spectre.
Quick description of scene:
The superheros are getting their photos taken. After this, she says something to the group to let them know she’ll join them in a minute (implying she’s going to change). The Comedian (a rather nasty member of the group who does some horrible things throughout the movie — as he’s supposed to be a parody of humankind’s inhumanity to humankind) follows her in. He proceeds to try to “seduce” her making a claim that is tantamount to saying what she is wearing must indicate that she wants sex, all the time by any man to offer. At one point she says No, and he says something like “No spelled Y-E-S.” She replies “No spelled N-O” and then hits him so hard he flies across the room. I have not read this book, yet, so I can’t say what happens in it, but in the film he proceeds to beat her up and then is about to rape her when she is saved by other male superheros. Even better, I found it on YouTube.
When the scene was unfolding, I was originally thinking it would be good. Here is a strong woman who is going to kick the crap out of a man trying to exploit her “vulnerabilities.” She does so for about 2 seconds. She gets in one hit and then is made into the victim. He props her up against a pool table to rape her. My thought is she’s going to grab a pool ball and smash him in the face, but she just lays there so she has to be rescued. And while a man is handling the situation, she lays there gasping. My mind goes numb. I just start yelling at the screen “WHY?!? WHY?!” Indeed, WHY have all the trappings of strong female characters just to show that no matter how strong they are, they are still victims of men?
Filed under: Questions
If you haven’t written extensively about meat packing plants, business networks, racial/ethnic identities, or other dissertation related material… chances are I haven’t read you.
Accept for maybe a facebook status. I read those. They are short enough to keep my attention.
I don’t mean to be completely missing from the blogosphere, but I just can’t seem to find the extra energy to write words not related to my dissertation… or read words that don’t end up helping me write my dissertation.
More than ever in my tenure as a graduate student, I have no life. None. I sometimes can’t even get up the energy to read a novel (unless I’ve already read it or a book in the series and so don’t need to learn new characters and social rules) or produce the required concentration to watch a television show.
This will end. I will eventually defend. And, after that miracle occurs, I will finish my fall preps. And, once I get into my new job, I’ll settle into my classes. Of these things I have faith.
It makes me wonder though. What am I going to do with myself once I am allowed to have a life? I currently understand alienation from labor more than ever. I write and write, but I feel like I have nothing really to show for it. That I’ve done nothing. Each step along the graduate ladder is just one more thing… MA defense (check); prelim and prelim (check/check); prelim defense (check); dissertation proposal defense (check); publication (check); presentations (check); job talk/interview/job (check)… But all you have to show for it is a pile of papers. Long documents that few will read. And then I think about how this doesn’t really end. Even after I finish the PhD… Then I’ll just trying to jump through different hoops.
I have come to the conclusion that I need a hobby. One that actually has some kind of physical manifestation. I need to learn how to make something that I can hold. However, I have no idea what that thing will be. I don’t have Anomie’s artistic talent (I so want that painting). Or Kristina B’s photography skills. I used to write fiction/poetry and was pretty good at it… but that will just be more writing and doesn’t solve much of anything. I’m not much for gardening. I like the idea of cake decorating. But, hell, there are only two of us. What the hell would I do with all the cakes?
Ideas?
I’m willing to put it up to a vote.
15% of my students plagiarized on their final exams (take homes / summer course). I’ve dealt with plagiarists before, but my role at that time was a teaching assistant. All decisions about how to handle it and what not was up to the professor in charge. Largely, confronting those students was up to the professor in charge. Now I’m in charge.
What shocked me this time was my response to their plagiarism. My emotional response. I feel sick about it. Mostly, I feel betrayed. Like some bond between us has been broken. But it’s this abstract bond. There is this implicit trust that these students broke. And when this 15% broke it, it was gone between me and my entire class. I became paranoid that all of my students were cheating. That they are all trying to pull one over on me.
I know, on an intellectual level, that they were doing nothing to ME. It wasn’t really about me. But my feelings say otherwise.
I have been fighting to keep my teaching innocence. To not conclude what others that have gone before have — that most of these students don’t care, just want the credits, just want to finish. I’ve been holding on to the one or two students who I know are really invested. Those who do care, try hard, want to learn. This makes doing that even harder. Perhaps it wouldn’t have done if my class was larger and the students who did this were anonymous forms in a 90+ student classroom. But I had a small class. I remember the questions these students asked, their interest in the theories… At least one of the 15% had me believing that he/she was one of those few who do care.
How do you handle the battering that our students give us sometimes? How do you keep the faith when students continually beat you down? Not turning in assignments, making up excuses, not showing up, not doing the homework and (worse of all) cheating?
If you know INTERACT, or you know someone who knows someone who knows how to use INTERACT, I need help. They have changed the interface since the last time I used it, and I am just trying to calculate the deflection for a depressed newlywed (male and female data both). I think I did it right, but I’m not sure. It’s the kind of not sure you can’t be when you plan on sending a paper out to a journal.
When you put in an identity it gives you a score right underneath (I’m assuming that’s the fundamental). When you put in emotion, it gives you the same. Then, underneath, it says “combined.” I’m assuming that’s the transient?
I know how to calculate the deflection if those assumptions are correct (the sum of the squared differences between the two). But that’s making a jump.
So if I have an E P A for “newlywed” at 2.81, 1.77, and 1.97 and a combined (depressed newlywed) of -1.44, 0.17, -0.19 then subtracting E1-E2 (2.81 – (-1.44)), P1-P2 (1.77-0.17), A1-A2 (1.97-(-0.19)), then squaring the three values and summing them, I get a deflection of 25.2881. (I’m assuming this is male data).
Is this right? Is the “combined” the transient score? HELP!
Assistant Professor? Associate Professor?
Mma Ramotswe had met an associate professor from the university, a man who brought his car to Mr J.L.B. Matekoni for repair. She had reflected on his title, imagining that this would be appropriate for one who was allowed to associate with professors, without actually being allowed to be one himself.
The Good Husband of Zebra Drive, Alexander McCall Smith
I guess as an Assistant Professor, I’ll at least be working directly with the real professors. Rather than just hanging out with them.
I hate multiple choice. I hate it with the passion of a 1000 burning suns. Actually, maybe more. I struggle with writing questions. Then, I have to wonder, what the hell they test anyway. Memorization?
To be honest, I’m not exactly sure why we even test. What’s the point of it? Holding them accountable? Well, isn’t this their degree to learn or not learn as they chose? These tests make me feel like a babysitter, that I have to make sure that they are doing what they are paying to do.
Anyway, I have around 80 students. I do have a TA, but most of her time (only 10 hours I have her) is going to be taken up with grading the journal writings. So do I do essay tests, which I have greater faith in actually testing what they need to be learning, or do I write multiple choice tests? Or a combination? Grading essay tests takes so long. And, there is actual hope that I will have a life outside of teaching this semester. What do we think?
THIS JUST IN: I got a jury duty summons. What the heck do I do with that? I am supposed to be teaching!
